Sliding Scale Vending

Beverage Vending Machine Automatically Changes Price Based on Outside Temperature

While in Chicago the other day for the Shopper Marketing Expo, Coke’s Global Customer & Commercial Leadership Director (responsible for foodservice development and international growth strategy) described the technology used to increase traffic to vending machines at a handful of amusement parks in Spain for the past two years. The machines would automatically lower their prices as the outdoor temperature rose, by means of a software developed by Varadero.

From their headquarters, Coca-Cola spokesperson Carrie Brown explains, “The machines were designed specifically to increase trial of Limón&Nada as a thirst quencher in the summer heat.” Limón&Nada hopes to come to America under a different name as a low-cal, preservative-free lemonade from the Minute Maid brand. Also being offered in test markets is Limón&Nada Peppermint and Limón&Nada Light.

Brown said that the software hasn’t been used in other markets, but declined to comment as to weather (tee-hee) they planned on using this technology in the future.

Hungry for Change

Our Scouts were killing.

It was the Homecoming Game for our local high school. A buddy of mine came to see his son perform his courtly duties alongside the King and Queen of the day. The class of 1993 was celebrating it's twentieth reunion that weekend, so the stands were full of people recently flown to town wearing flannel with fanny packs while listening to Nirvana on their blue Walkmans.

The good ol' home team defense had just intercepted a beautiful pick when my almost potty-trained daughter tugged on my pant leg. With a familiar step dance her slightly raised eyebrows betrayed a distress that snapped me to action. As I was weaving through bleachers and band nerds with daughter in tow, I noticed that the line for the bathroom was certainly too long for her tiny bladder. I snatched the kid up under my right arm, brought my left across my chest to prevent a fumble, pivot and sprint with the all grace of number 10 (the Scouts' wide receiver) towards the school gym. Finally, we reach the sanctum of a clean restroom; and none too soon.

While she sat and playfully sang her version of  "Summertime Sadness," I wandered around the immaculate high school gym, admiring their top-tier equipment and amenities... but then, I saw this:

I was shocked.

Here I am, at one of the top high schools in the country, in the part of the school where they focus on teaching young people about health and fitness, and the almost-empty vending machine is almost all junk food. With all of the talk over the past ten years about child obesity and educating the youth on making healthy food decisions, how is this even possible? It is so counterproductive for government entities like schools to promote junk food and make it so easily accessible to children while other government entities are investing billions in healthcare and health education focused on choosing healthful foods and making healthy lifestyle choices. I can't believe that healthy vending isn't more of a priority for U.S. schools, especially for a school that prides itself on its commitment to wellness.

This is not over.

I got so worked up, I'm going to look into what the disconnect is, and see what we can do to fix this. Sorry Snickers.

Business Card Icons

I'm designing new business cards, and wasn't super excited about the vector image icon choices available, so I ended up making these in MS Word. Help yourself.

Why do we love Friday?

1956 Wisc. Badgers Cheerleaders possibly cheering for Friday*

Happy Friday!

After a very informal survey, resulting in not-so-surprising results, most American’s least favorite day of the week is Monday and we strongly favor Saturday. Friday beat out Sunday by a large margin, and Thursday took a close fourth. Chances are your favorite days are Friday and Saturday as well... But why?

Anticipation       

Disclaimer: I’m no scientist, and wanted to write this quick blog post in time to be relevant, so I didn’t do a lot more research, but I believe it is because anticipation of happiness is almost as powerful as the experience of happiness. The converse also applies, perhaps more so.

I mean, if you hate Mondays because of work/school, and love Saturdays because of lack thereof, then it rationally follows that Sundays should yield the same level of happiness as Saturdays. But they don’t for most of us. Friday is also a workday (and often a more demanding workday), and yet, we love Fridays. Some of us even prefer Thursdays to Sundays because the week is almost over.

Your Weekend Homework

Yup, I’d like you to do something over the weekend. I’d like you to take this information to increase your own happiness. Now, Fridays are awesome, and I want to you to continue to love Fridays… that anticipation of future bliss is a valuable tool, which can be applied to many other parts of your life, as well as improving outcomes for your clients**. My advice to you is to nurture anticipation of future happiness while suppressing negative emotions related to future misery. When things are not quite where you want them, look forward to the brighter future and positive outcomes of your work. When all is right with the world, be there in the now. Enjoy your Sunday. Hope for the best, and realistically prepare for the worst without cynically dwelling on it. I promise this will make you happier, healthier, and more productive.

*image used via Creative Commons license, attributed to http://uwdc.library.wisc.edu/collections/UW 

**I had a section prepared for how to leverage anticipation of positives for winning more deals and improving customer satisfaction, but decided that subject would be better discussed in its own post. Stay tuned!

Monster.com: Bad April Fool's Prank or Bad Quality Control?

Sexperience Wanted

This posting was sent to me this morning. I laughed.

"Previous Sexperience in the Staffing Industry a plus." If this was intentional, Astrix Technology Group, then I take back my laughter. Here's the link if you want to see how long it takes for Monster to correct the mistake* after I notify customer service about the typo --> Account Executive, Schaumburg. When contacted for comment, a representative for Astrix Technology said that their "administrative staff is probably already aware [of the issue]." As of this writing, the job ad has been up for a week.

Another funny job-board goof

This posting reminds me of this one time when I found, years ago when I worked at CareerBuilder, a job posting for pool cleaners. Apparently the ad was scraped from a partner newspaper listing with a title longer than the job board's character limit for the title section. So, the advertisement went live on about 1400 websites saying something like "Growing Company Seeks Customer-Facing Poo." I was in the middle of a web-conference showing a prospective customer what a job-seeker would see if there weren't any relevant listings for their query, assuming that the keyword "poo" would be a guaranteed zero results search. That, and the word tends to lighten the mood during a long product demo.
Although it is embarrassing to uncover a quality control issue while live with a prospect, it allowed me to demonstrate another value in working with one of our experienced account managers, while illustrating the agility with which we work interdepartmentally and across company borders to make changes (right after taking a screenshot to giggle with coworkers about later).

So please, anytime you use self-service advertising, like job boards, directories, AdWords, even blogs, take the time to have someone proofread your copy before going live. It is also strongly recommended that you pull up your ad in a few different browsers and through other sites that may aggregate your content as soon as it launches. Remember, your words and images reflect your brand.

Don't Rely on AI

For this same reason, it is not advised to rely on non-human tools to do proofreading for you. I'm sure there are plenty of instances of auto-correct or Swype helping you put your foot in your mouth. For another example, here's what happens when you use Google Translate to convert the lyrics of the most popular i-Tunes download of the winter from English to Chinese to Portuguese and back to English:

Now, joined the club as "how? I have a big rooster!" explains

No, I just pump the thrift store to buy some dog feces

The ice edge is so damn cold

"Mother, this is a ghost white ass cold"

Roll the sandwich led Hella deep

Rosa, but my crocodile shoes using, these are green

Phi at the girl next to me, a mink leopard

Maybe should have been washed, smells of R. Kelly board

(Pissssss..)

But, Mom, this is 99 cents!

Damn, Coppin, wash it, Bout 'to get some praise

These others were walking in moccasins

Bummy and lame, sex, I'm flossing and stunting

I save my money, I'm hella happy, this is a business, [expletive removed]

I am your grandfather's style, I'm the style of his grandfather

Not true, ask your grandfather, I can have it I spend less? (Thank you!)

Velvet overalls and some slippers

The poop brown leather jacket, I found that mining

They have a broken keyboard, I bought a broken keyboard

I bought a UFO blankets, and then I bought a plate of knee

Hello, hello, my ace, my gentle

John Wayne has nothing on my game edge, hell no

I might need some wings to keep them fresh and sale of these

Movement toe: "Ah, he has a velcro"

That being said... 

Humor in job postings can be a great way to better target candidates for cultural fit and a certain level of intelligence. Here are a couple that I found fun.

A different kind of poo job:

A while back, I came across an ad for a Flash Designer (must have been a while ago... Does anyone even develop solely in Flash anymore?) that listed the following Job Requirements:
  > The ability to design, program and animate every aspect of a website.
  > Need a can-do, will-do attitude for every project.
  > Enjoys being shot in the head with a bazooka.
  > Can work as part of a collaborative team - willing to change creative direction at any time.
  > Is not afraid of chemical warfare. Or shaving cream.
  > Salary DOE.

Another oldie (Does Blockbuster even have stores anymore?):

Your turn!

Share your funny or strange job postings or stories below!
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* (update: 4/1/13) When I called Monster to report the mistake, I was promptly transferred to Employer Customer Service... Well, I mean after being on hold with poorly rendered elevator music and abnormally loud Monster advertisements for social-media integration products, world-wide exposure, diversity/inclusion products, and BI reports for just shy of nine minutes. The friendly and bright "Kimberly" took my call and was able to pull up the post, identify the typo,take down my email address, and ask if there was anything else for which she may be able to help, all within a few short minutes. Although she was unable to correct the "big mistake" herself, the ad had been edited within twenty minutes of hanging up. I kept hitting refresh after the conversation, so I know that it was at least 15 minutes. That's actually a pretty good turnaround time, right?

Creativity Inside the Box

 

I was just in Kenosha this weekend for my buddy’s fortieth birthday. Kenosha, in addition to being the nearest city to those lovable characters of That 70’s Show, is the birthplace of Orson Welles. There I stumbled across this quote of his:
The enemy of art is the absence of limitations.

Wait, what? I thought freedom and "thinking outside the box" were the keys to creativity. Orson, you crazy fat man, what in Grover’s Mill are you talking about?

After giving it some thought, with both sides of my brain firing, this actually makes a lot of sense. Humans aren’t wired to operate without some boundaries that allow us to focus our creative energy appropriately… and, as I’ve grown to realize in my years, total freedom is a myth.

Here are a couple of ideas that can help you unleash your creative potential:

Understand Your Limitations

To be truly free, it is necessary to have some structure – and even more importantly, to understand those limitations. Great music relies on rhythm and meter, great paintings on the size and texture canvas (and frame), great speeches on the knowledge and energy of the audience, etc. To be truly creative is to embrace, not only the restrictions of your media and tools, but your mistakes and weaknesses as well.

Half the time when men think they are talking business, they are wasting time.

                                                                                                -- E. W. Howe

To nurture your rhythm and feel the meter is to provide the lucidity and purpose to engage your problems locked-and-loaded. Many people end up wasting time with sub-par or ineffective work because they simply didn't take the time to understand the limitations of the project or articulate the goal beforehand.

Who are the stakeholders? What is the desired outcome? What steps need to be taken for approval? What tools are available? What are the deadlines? Where will the work appear? Why am I doing this? It is only after these types of questions are answered that you should start to work on the How.

 

You Are What You Eat

The old mantra of CRM implementers and data analysts, "Garbage in, garbage out," is also an important factor for creativity. What you consume is exceedingly important in how effective you are at problem-solving and creating. Of course, I could take a minute to address what you physically consume, as this will certainly make a difference in your production and outcomes... but no. I'm talking about what your mind consumes. As with the food you eat, the first step is to be conscious of what you are taking in.

Here are a few other enemies of creativity that should be avoided at all costs:

• Reruns
• Unnecessary Complexity
• Fear
• Unlucky/unsuccessful people
• Assumptions
• Boredom
• Unattainable expectations

...and a few things we should actively seek out:

• Relevance (what can this seemingly unrelated thing tell me about my problem/project?)
• Published works of the leaders in your industry
• Time-sensitive opportunities
• Information about things you are passionate about
• Recent innovative products or concepts
• The classics

Change Things Up

So, now that you're limiting your 'junk food' and focusing on healthier consumption, it's important to note that, while broccoli is super good for you, if you go and eat nothing but broccoli for a couple weeks, you'll probably end up green-face-first in a ditch on the side of the road. Please note that, for most people, some junk can be okay –even beneficial – in moderation.

Getting stuck creatively is often a product of the pattern of seeking the warm embrace of comfort. Stretch yourself and resist the temptation of seeking the security of your comfort zone. Keeping your mind active and purposefully interrupting your usual patterns can do wonders for stretching your ability to solve problems and grow the pool from which you draw insight. Here are a few things that I urge you to do at least once a week to boost your creativity:

• Start a conversation with a random stranger
• Go to an event outside of your comfort zone (i.e. attend a religious service that you don't subscribe to, see a lecture of someone you don't agree with, go to a club that plays music you don't usually listen to)
• Be a mentor
• Learn a new game
• Take a different route to work
• Brush your teeth with the wrong hand
• Read aloud with exagerrated emotion and/or a silly accent

 

What Do You Think?

 

Another awesome way to get the creative juices flowing is to post a comment below.

11 Sales Quotes that You Probably Haven't Heard Before

So, because I wasn't able to find them on any of the big quotation search sites, I've decided to provide a home online for the following 11 sales quotes you probably haven't heard yet:



Theory is very helpful in business, but only when the business has already been settled.
  -- Italo Svevo

Nothing is as irritating as the fellow that chats pleasantly while he's over-charging you.
  -- Kin Hubbard

You can't just ask customers what they want and then try to give it to them. By the time you build it, they'll want something new.
  -- Steve Jobs

Half the time when men think they are talking business, they are wasting time.
  -- E. W. Howe

Clarity trumps persuasion.
  -- Dr. Flint McGlaughlin

Knowledge without courage is sterile.
  -- Baltasar Gracian

Nothing is free anymore to sell itself or give itself away.
  -- Jean Giraudoux

Bring the best of your authentic self to every opportunity.
  -- John Jantsch

When a man is discontented with himself, it has one advantage, however, that it puts him into an excellent frame of mind for making a bargain.
  -- Laurence Sterne

There is only one boss. The customer. And he can fire everybody in the company from the chairman on down, simply by spending his money somewhere else.
  -- Sam Walton

Good bargains empty pockets.
  -- German proverb



Please share any other obscure quotes about sales and/or marketing below.

Ramblings

In my blog post last year CMO v3.0: The Enlightened Buyer, I hinted at the changing landscape for marketers, and the need for organizations to embrace this change to quickly capitalize on market opportunities. However, I should have pointed out that it is important to keep an eye to the future as well. It would have been dangerous, for example, to misinterperet market conditions as the new permanent reality -- during a recession, people don't stop buying stuff, they are just more frugal about those purchases. Although they may not consume some of the goods/services that you are offering, they can still consume your marketing and become an advocate. If you've found yourself taking your foot off the gas pedal, now is the time to accelerate while your competitors may have thrown in the towel.

Voices in the Rubble - a documentary

Here's a short trailer for a movie that my buddy is trying to get made. Please take 4 seconds to "like" this video (by clicking the heart icon). If you don't have a Vimeo account, please take 47 seconds to create an account and then "like" it. Thanks!!


VOICES IN THE RUBBLE from Herman Wilkins on Vimeo.

http://vimeo.com/58913203

The cat

About this time 11 years ago was a sad time for my young family, and my sweet wife was having a particularly rough time with it. At some point I realized that I had to give in to her pleadings. Even though I had a terrible allergy (and slight aversion) to cats, we ended up taking home the first kitten we came across, and the furry fury has been ruling our homes with an iron paw ever since. Her name is Kaya.

So, because this sassy cat has been kind of a symbol of my love and sacrifice, I thought it would be fun to give my wife a portrait for Valentine's Day this year...

"Kaya" 2/13/2012

"

Kitty kitty Kaya may be cute
But beware
Children, she steals your playful breath
Kitty kitty Kaya has no heart
Has no care
Instead she plots your painful death"

                                -- Ancient Egyptian Dirge -- 

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2013/02/08 - Finger Drawing

Finger Drawing

 

see full size: winchestergoose.com/art

Sigh

I felt such a feeling of dread when I realized I was on the final chapter of my book this morning. I finished on the train, and made this on the bus (from a pic I'd drawn a couple months ago).